© 2017 by dani de souza

this love is hard

April 25, 2017

Having a baby is the best hard thing, and the hardest best thing you’ll ever do. 


From the moment I felt the first contraction I experienced the above. How can something so painful be so beautiful? How can the ‘simple’ act of breastfeeding be so complicated? How can this cute, tired person keep us up all night? How can I beam with joy when I see that first smile while still feeling completely isolated from the world? How can I sob when I hear the first laugh? Or laugh in the deep, dark night when she farts herself awake? How can my heart ache with joy while I mourn my freedom? How can I smile knowing this is everything I’ve ever wanted while questioning if I was ready? How can I get up night after night to nourish my baby with my body, when my body feels at its most vulnerable?


Because this love is hard. Because this hard is love. 


This love will push you and test you more than anything else you’ve experienced. This love will make you believe in magic. This love will show you your strength and highlight those weaknesses like never before. 


This love is hard because this love is everything.


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